ieronic:

have u ever woken up from a nap u didn’t know u were taking

heritance:

Never fuck with someone who cries when they’re mad. They’ll stab you 48 times and cry in your stab wounds.

lord-kitschener:

“what if the aborted baby could have cured cancer???”

oh my god what if the last egg I bled onto a kotex product could have cured cancer??

oh my god how am I not birthing every possible egg I produce, lest one of those resulting babies be the person who cures cancer/AIDS/creates world peace????

what if that baby could have been a musical artist described by pitchfork as “liberace with a metalcore twist”????

how dare i not be pregnant/birthing all the time always?????

validx2:

Girl: Why you like me

Lying Nigga: Cause shawty it’s like we can talk about anything, you got good conversation, and plus you patient 

Girl: Nigga aint that Bow Wow  lyrics?

Lying Nigga: 

image

whitebeltwriter:

leslieknope-s:

[x]

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